Horrible Last Names

Phoenix1

Member
I was talking to a friend the other day and somehow, the conversation turned to last names we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies. You know, horrible last names like Whitehead or Blackhead. Balls or Weiner. I honestly don't know how people live with names like this. I said that I would have marched down to wherever it was that I needed to march to in seventh grade to have my name changed. And if my parents tried to stop me, well, let's just say that they wouldn't have been able to stop me. There is no way I would have gone through life and school with the last name of Blackhead. Sorry, not happening. Where do people come up with these names anyway? I mean, is there a long line of proud Blackheads out there? Or Weiners?

I think the conversation began when we were discussing women taking the man's last name after getting married, or vice-versa, I guess. Yes, that's a thing now. There are a few men out there who have taken their new wife's last name. There's one of these people in my hometown. I heard about this a few years ago and pity the man. I really do. How misguided. What kind of woman really truly wants her husband to take her last name? I mean, really and truly? Anyway...

The conversation turned to what a woman would do if her soon to be husband had a last name of Manson or something like that. Or perhaps Dumbald. Would she change her own to his? I claimed that she wouldn't. If I were her, I'd say straight off the bat that there is no way I'm taking a name like that. I'd tell him early on in the relationship as to avoid an awkward conversation later on. I'm not even sure I'd hyphenate. Personally, I'm for and against the whole name change thing. There are so many reasons for as well as against. I suppose I can keep that topic to another post though.

There is a flip side to this though. Let's say the poor girl had to grow up with the last name of Zitsplat and met a fine young gentleman with the last name of Smith. I'm guessing she'd want to change her name at the first opportunity she had. That's what I would do. Or, I'd just go down to the town office and change my name to something I made up. I've seen people do that too.

So, what are some of these horrid last names? I'll make a list below. I invite you to add ones you've seen out there as well.

The Comprehensive List of Bad Last Names

Weiner
Hitler
Dickman
Cox
Butts
Ball
Spunkmeyer
Hooker
Focker
Greathead
Highcock
Buttram
Titsman
Donner
Grossman
Buttafuoco
Manson
Wang
Bush
Dinkle
Ho
Dangle
Pugh
Dumbald
Zitsplat
Baals
Mangina
Condom
Sharts
Negro
Mussolini
Assman
Shytles
Hyman
Grossweiner
Rhammar
Wanket
Squatpump
Dick
Kox
Peanisbreath
Dork
Pusey
Ballitch
Whang
Sackrider
Dickshot
Morehead
Kuntz
Dikshit
Beaver
Rape
Cumming
Titcum
Bushrod
Hogg
Cooter
Licker
Cobbledick
Swett
Kok
Queer
Silly
Dick
Dong
Windass
Bonerz
Hardon
Loser
Colon
Dbag
Stroker
Schmuck
Seaman
Crapper
Woodcock
Rathood
McUgly
Butt
Whitehead
Blackhead

Yes, these are all real. I found a few lists online and pulled the above them them. Again, please add some more if they come to mind. Thanks!
 
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